Shoa, memorial day, today

Today is the memorial day for the Holocaust. It is sad. My late parents were survivors.
Me and my sisters, Ester and Pesia are what they call second generation.

Second generation are echoes of the first generation.
1990 In Warsaw, Poland, the new Poland is in the happening. Democracy will soon be here again.
I am suffering endless optimism, living the new world, I am a friend with my Polish colleagues.
I was invited to plan a sound system for a theatre. It is my third visit. This time i am honored,
I will be using the theater's guests apartment. On my previous visits I stayed at Hotel Europe.

At 10pm I am arriving at the apartment. It is dark, light is at minimum.
No TV or radio, the neighbourhood is very quiet.
I take a shower, and go to sleep.
Sleep escapes me, I am not comfortable. All the great experience I had with my new friends in
Poland is vanishing. I am waiting for the Germans to come. I check if there is a place where I can hide, a closet, a basement, nothing. no escape.

I keep waiting. I tell my self, "Usherul, there are no Germans in Warsaw any more. There is no war."
"It is 1990 not 1942". My being wouldn't listen. My being waits for the morning to escape from the Germans.

In the morning my friends came to take me to the airport. I am returning to Israel.
I did not say anything, I felt guilty for how I feel. They are not to be blamed for I am carrieng
remains of a trauma.

After returning to Tel Aviv I never called them, I did not complete the design work I was comissiones for. They never asked me where I am, as if they felt something went wrong.

I am determined to make another attempt to recover from the trauma.

I already made half way when joining Zohar Freasco for a concerts tour in Poland. Zohar plays
on a wonderful trio with Leszek Mozdzer and Lars Danielson.
I have enjoyed big time, I am helplessly optimistic again.